Illsuion, Delusion, Consolation
by hakuzai
Summary: Everyone has a special someone, a thin string that keeps you from falling in to bottomless darkness. When the string snaps, however, all we can do is to sit there, like marionette without anyone to move it around. Slight hints of GerIta, FrUK, and so on..


I feel so bad about writing tragedy for these two... but I couldn't help it.

But I promise to write something bright, and sweet next week.

* * *

It was middle of no where. It was just white nothingness that spread as far as bare eyes can see, and perhaps, further than that. Standing, or rather, floating in that empty space, a brunet opened his eyes. His blank face lifted upwards, staring at the ceiling of the place, only to find that there was no such thing as ceiling; the empty space continued. He did the same thing, looking at the bottom this time. He found that he was standing on nothing, as the space below him was empty as well. Then, his face started to show a little tiny bit of his emotion.

_Loneliness_

He was always left alone. When his twin brother was taken by their grandpa, his own voice begging for grandpa to take him as well, was ignored. In the white nothingness, the image of his grandpa and his brother appeared; grandpa would hold little Feli in his arms and walk away, telling him one of his stories about how he would grasp the victory in the bloody wars. Their voices talking, laughing, and comforting each other filled the empty space. His own voice was no more than whimpering, fading as he tried hard not to cry.

Then, as he slowly turned his face away from the image, another image appeared slowly on the other side of the space. It was Austria, his face slightly smiling. It was rare for him to smile like that, since he insists that someone noble like him should stay solemn all the time. His eyes were fixed on Feli, sweeping the floor that was so clean that it shined bright. He was humming with his sweet voice, which made him look like a baby angel dancing around with deck brush. Beside them, was himself, still young and little, held firmly in someone else's arms. The little brunet lifted his face, only to find the man looking at Feli with the same smile that Austria had on his face.

He once again, turned around to hide from the loneliness that struck him hard. But as soon as he did, the third image was drawn in front of him. This time, Feli had grown up, chatting delightedly with other nations. They were all smiling, with some women even blushing. And in the corner of the image, he stood alone. People would go past him, murmuring amongst themselves about his foul mouth. As he just stood there, watching his brother with burning jealousy, one man grabbed his shoulder, smiling sadly. It was the same man from the second image, but somehow who he was quite unsure, yet his face familiar.

The brunet closed his eyes shut, trying to escape from the images surrounding him. Tears started falling from his eyes. He was always alone, left in agony. Was it him who was bad? Did he do something wrong to make people avoid him? Surely, it was his violent words scare other people? Then, he felt strong wind brushing against him. He opened his eyes, and found himself standing on the edge of railing of a tall building. The sky was still white, but the place was filled gray buildings. He looked down from the railing, and saw bottomless pit. It looked like there was a strong force pulling him toward the pit as he bent down.

"Lovi."

He was almost losing his balance when he heard a voice, so sweet and dear, calling him from his back. It was his name. Lovino, that was who he was, not some nameless, insignificant no one.

"Lovi, don't do that. That's dangerous."

Again, the voice gently pulled him away from the edge, from the railing. Lovino turned around, leaning on the railing for support. Then, he saw the face; the one from the images. The man standing about 5 feet away, had comforting smile on his face. Something in Lovino's heart tingled, warmth spreading in his body.

"Yes, that's my Lovi. Good boy."

Something about the man's smile made him happy. He wanted to run to this man, who would give a gentle hug in return. But Lovino's mouth betrayed his feeling, spitting words that he never meant.

"Don't call me like that, you bastard. I know that you don't mean it. You are just like other people, favoring Feli and his silly smiles. You don't even want me around!"

Lovino's heart sunk deep as the silence fell after his sour words. He didn't want the man to go away. He cursed himself for his foul mouth, for it was his mouth who always kept himself away from other people. But the man just stood there, warm smile grew even larger.

"I know that you don't mean it either. You are just afraid of being around others, aren't you? You are afraid that you'll get hurt after they leave you."

"What do you know about me!"

"A lot... You know, I'm the one who raised you up."

Each word was carved into Lovino's heart. Yes, he remember ever so clearly; how the man had raised him, how he cared about him, and how he loved him so dearly. The man started to walk toward him, as he stood still, trying to remember the man's name. It was so close, but he could not remember it as if there was an invisible barrier blocking his memory.

"I know that you' feel lonely, but don't forget. I will always be here to care for you. Even if the world turns its back from you, I will be here to love you."

The man stood right in front of him. Lovino looked up his face, as the man was taller than himself. The man, too, looked at him, with the same smile. Their faces were only few inches apart. Lovino could feel the strong arms embracing him, pulling him closer to the other's body. Familiar scent of cologne and slight hint of tomato made him smile. When their lips were just about to touch each other, Lovino whispered the name that crossed his mind.

"Antonio..."

* * *

Lovino opened his eyes and blinked them several times before he realized that he was staring at the white ceiling. In the corner of his eyes, he could see some people gathering closed to each other, whispering something so secretly. He could catch some words, but they made no sense whatsoever.

"...almost died... threw himself from..."

"What can we do? …was the only person... believed in..."

"But …is gone! Dead!"

Lovino tried sit up, but all he could do was to move his fingers, which barely brushed against the blanket about an inch. The tiny rustling sound made people startle, and one of them ran toward the bed that he was lying down. It was Feliciano, with tears sliding down his cheecks.

"Fratello, are you okay?"

"...yeah... I guess..."

Other people soon gathered around the bed, which only made Lovino confused. Why did all these people come to see him? What's with their sad, worried looks?

"What are you guys doing in my house?"

"...This is not your house... It's hospital."

"What..? What am I doing in hospital?"

Lovino tried to think hard at the same time he tried to ignore all the pains that dominated most of his body. He could fill all the bandages tied around his head, arms, and even legs, yet he had no reason to be covered with them. Then, he saw the shocked expressions on people's faces. Hungary started sobbing quietly and Lithuania took her out of the room. The blabber mouth America had his mouth shut closed, with his unusual solemn face. And Feliciano, too, had serious face, holding the wurst bastard's hand so tightly.

"You... don't remember..?"

"What are you talking about?"

"But... you... you-"

"You threw yourself from a five-stories building, only to be saved by a tree under it."

"Why would I do that, you bastards! Just quit this stupid joke and fetch Antonio. I'm gonna kill that tomato bastard for actually letting you do play jokes like this."

Ludiwg cut Feli's shaky voice to finish the sentence, but all Lovino did was to laugh hysterically. However, when the name slipped out of his mouth, everyone shuddered, as if there was a taboo about calling him that way. There was awful silence until Lovino yelled out loud, his mind busy trying to find some more curses to spit.

"Dammit, just quit it already, and get Antonio! I want him, right now!"

Feliciano started to sob too, his shoulders shivering so hard, that Ludwig had to help him stand up and hold him in his arms. England looked away, his hands grabbing France's sleeves and he, in return, put his arm across the British man's waist. Canada hugged his pet bear with both his arms and leaned against his brother, while Alfred opened his mouth to let his cracked voice ring in the small room.

"Antonio... died two weeks ago. You were there in his funeral, too."

Heavy silence hang in the room, taking everyone's breath out. Nothing except sobs were heard. Lovino made a wry face as if he was trying to bring back memories about 'the funeral'. But few moments later, all he did was looking out the window, with blank face, his amber eyes empty without any emotions in them. He muttered silently, with no tones in his shaky voice.

"I'm gonna kill that bastard as soon as he returns... Where the heck is he, when I need him? That bastard, probably in his garden to get those stupid tomatoes. Chigi... Today's dinner should better taste good, or I'm not letting that moron sleep in my bed..."


End file.
